Category Archives: sex

1. Step ino the Darkside

As I contemplated my answer for the only questionnaire I’ve ever cared about that didn’t have a hollow promise of a cash prize upon completion, I swear my love life flash before my eyes. Though the sentiment may sound ignorant and drastic now, signing up for these sites for the first time had this “point of no return” sensation. It was like finally admitting that the old, conventional ways of finding love might not be enough; that I might not be enough anymore. I had finally given into the latest fad and the belief that everyone in the city was just looking for a hookup. This seemed like the only alternative left to weed out the Mr. Wrongs… or so I thought. My love life, as I knew it, was coming to an end. This was a new era of dating, a new romantic dawn, a new lifestyle, where we know more about the other person through Facebook than on the first date.

My friend had introduced me to the brand world recently after finally admitting where she met her boyfriend. After almost a year of happily dating, she was a huge advocate for meeting a special someone online. One night, fed up about my rants about assholes, she sat me down and helped me with my profile. However, being an overachiever, I couldn’t settle for just one site. I was simultaneously registering for Plenty of Fish, OkCupid and downloading Tinder.

As I brainstormed the most empowering, yet flirtatious and “cool” way answer “You should message me if”, I realized that I had no idea what I was looking for. I had previously typed:

Screen Shot 2558-07-06 at 12.14.53 PM

…Realizing that was probably too much information, I deleted everything and simply settled for “if you want!” That was concise and cool right? And just before it was too late I remembered that I had to be flirty too so I added an extra 😉 at the end before hitting send. Now it was perfect. And just like that, my first online dating profiles were created. Ok Cupid, I have stepped into the dark side, and apparently you have Plenty of Fish.


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The New Era of Sext in the City

Pre-New York, Sex and The City used to be my guilty pleasure. I watched as these four hopeful, but slightly jaded, girls frolic all over Manhattan (and sometimes not-Manhattan, to their horror) in Manolos, that costs more than a month’s worth of groceries, looking for love and sex (not necessarily in that order). I was baffled by this lifestyle. I couldn’t comprehend how such sexy, smart and sophisticated women could remain unhappily single for so long and more surprisingly how they managed to score a hot new date every single weekend. I think it was about 5 months into living in the city that I realized; I had turned into one of them (with less money and shorter heels, of course). I was having sex and looking for love in the city. Now the show wasn’t about these incomprehensible strangers anymore, it was about me and my friends.

However, as relatable as the show still is, there’s one little difference that actually changes everything. These ladies didn’t have, *drum roll*, technology. Can you imagine how much more difficult their lives would have been if Carrie could stalk Mr. Big on Facebook, if Miranda could look at Steve’s instragram posts, if Charlotte could lose sleep waiting for an IMessage or, dear lord, if Samantha had Tinder. Oh wait, we can imagine this because this is our world now.

This blog, Sext and the City, address how technology, Internet and social media have changed urban relationships and how people connect. I am not trying to update Sex and The City but tell my own stories with my own perspectives. Over the last few years of actively and fearlessly dating in this (and other) cities, I have collected a varied and crazy range of stories and lessons. My experiences ranges from taking my now ex-boyfriend to the ER after getting alcohol poisoning on a night out, to getting left at a fancy restaurant in a middle of a first date, to spilling my Gin on the modern day equivalent of Prince Charming but still getting his number. I’ve had rendezvoused with Tinder, OkCupid, POF on top of the good old fashion real-life pickups and bar hopping. I don’t have the answers to everything- or anything for that matter, not even almost close. But over the past few years I’ve collected enough crazy stories to last a lifetime- or so it seems. The most important thing I want to remind my readers is self-love because we cannot break up with ourselves. Understanding our value will determine the kind of people we attract and stop us from settling for less. So, let’s go on this journey together; to find love and have sex in the age of technology.


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